Sex and God are primary forces in my life. People define themselves by them and may even fight to the death over them or their views of them. I think that they are entirely related. I think that each offers a picture of the other, and that a lifetime is too short a time to fully explore their relationship to one another. Sex is really ridiculous. The faces! The contortions! The efforts to get a partner into willing proximity! But I think that there’s a deeper connection to a sexual partner than just the localized physical contact. Many people think of God as an old, wizened being in the sky. I think that’s ‘cause God’s wise and has been around a long time. But I think of God as the picture of youth and virility. I think that our relationship to God should be as ecstatic as great sex. Wouldn’t news of that fill the pews at the local church! “Are you coming in church this week?” I think that being cool with God means being fully alive, and what greater picture is there of that than fantastic sex? (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
It’s a scary thing to realize that someone will do whatever you say, whatever you say, just because they like you/want you to like them so much. Initially it sounds like everyone’s fantasy. The only problem is that there’s a person on the other end of the fantasy that you can make high, but who will fall hard at the other end. When other people give you power over them, not abusing it can be tricky. She just wants to be loved, man. (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
They say it’s all in your mind. Believe it. Well, that’s the trick isn’t it. I’ve noticed that when people believe something really, really strongly, it’ll likely be true. I don’t mean hope or wish, I’m talking about being sure of a thing. Medical science has seen exceptions to it rules over and over again. If we believe the worst to be, well that’s when you die of a broken heart, I guess. I’d like to think that if I could only see life clearly, I’d make the right decisions. I don’t expect that to happen in my lifetime, though. So I just have to act as if what I hope to be true will be true and ta-da! I step out, the bridge appears under my feet and I race into the cave and get the holy grail. Filled with cheap, cheap wine. I also love the way the words and rhythm pop together every so often. (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
This is a song entirely written by Joel. One of his first songs, he had it stored away for a while. When we were in Father’s Property he’d shown it to the band, but he never wanted it to be performed, because it would just get too huge. Everybody in the five to six man band would be playing, and he wanted to keep the song pure and simple. When we formed McKenna, Joel decided it was time to crack the vintage for Withdrawal. After years in storage, he’d finally let the song see the light of day, since he could produce it exactly as he wanted to. (Words/Music:Joel)
This is the intro to Essence de Nuit. Joel and I recorded Essence live off the floor, having made up much of it that day. We thought we were hilarious. On the CD, we split up the spoken intro (Giving You Priceless) and the song (Essence de Nuit) so that folks could skip right ahead to the song if they were in the mood.
As teenagers, Joel and I were snooping around in our parents bedroom, and we discovered a cheap cologne called Essence de Nuit. We would ever be the same. It was at that moment that we realized that mommies and daddies love each other. Repeatedly. It’s a silly song that we hear kids love to sing along to. They’ll probably be as scarred as we were to realize the horror of what they’re singing. Or maybe they’ll just be really well rounded individuals. (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
Every one of us knows a girl who got pregnant younger than expected. People talk. People are scandalized. The poor girl may be shamed out of town, so to speak. At any rate, life is not easy for her if she makes the noble choice to keep the child. This is a song from a good friend to a good girl who wants to split town. (Words/Music:Ryan)
We wrote this one while we were still in Father’s Property. It had that funky thing going on with Joel’s guitar and the lyrics all about a girl who’s fine just came tumbling out. I was still working on the lyrics when we were on our way to a gig. I just sat in the back seat of the car with a towel over my head going over and over the flow. This has always been a crowd favourite. There were a couple of firsts with this song. “Smouldering lips ready to teach me.” was pushing the limit for a Christian band, and you can hear some animal noises at the beginning of the track. This was because we were trying to just have fun with the music and stop taking ourselves so seriously. It’s not that music doesn’t matter, it just that as a young artist you can try so hard to live up to your idea of what you should be artistically, that you can make your desperation to get it just right more important than your enjoyment of the ride. You end up not getting at what you were hoping for in the first place, which is an honest delivery. And this song is all about telling a girl honestly, you’re the best in the world. (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
This is schizophrenic Joel. Having been in and out of several studios with Father's Property, Joel was finally at the helm, producing his own record. Granted it was done with duct tape and bubble gum in terms of the equipment available to record with, but hey - better a king in your own shack than a slave in another man's castle. Or whatever that saying is supposed to be... :-)
Putting together Withdrawal, Joel had this riff kicking around for a while, and after hearing it I wrote the melody and lyrics it on the bus down to his place. I was thinking about cheating. When found out, some people are ashamed and some people are bold. But what if there’s no substance to your suspicions? Jealousy and insecurity could prompt an accusation. I’ve got this idea that you look for what you are in this life. Like, negative people see the negatives and positive people see the positives. Maybe an accusation of cheating really comes from my own cheating heart. (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
I’ll never forget as a beginning songwriter, hearing people respond to this song with “What happened to Ryan, he used to be a good writer?” The words are simple, and it’s difficult as a young guy who wants to be impressive to let go of the ego and write the words “rock my body rock my soul.” It doesn’t read well, but in the song it just felt right. Somehow, more soothing than you’d expect. An artist I respect named Toby Mac said, “Music takes words to a place where mere words could never go.” It began as a guitar exercise to work the fretboard up and down, but the song grew on its dissenters and it’s one to put on repeat when you need to float. (Words:Ryan Music:Ryan/Joel)
After Father’s Property, I wrote this song with a solo project in mind. When it became clear that Joel and I would form McKenna, I decided to dive in and include this song, just as Joel decided to include his song, Painful Love. When you do a good job on stage, accolades come swiftly behind. Immediately applause. Then handshaking and back slapping. Then whatever. Just in case anybody thinks I’m particularly fantastic, this lets them know, and reminds me, that even though I never meant to fail, and I never meant to lie, I have. My favourite high school English teacher said that there are two themes in all literature. Sex and death. We begin. We end. Enjoying and dreading. Hmm, enjoying/dreading sex? Enjoying/dreading death? Anyhow, we’re all on the same ride, and this song is meant to level the playing field. (Words/Music:Ryan)
